If Only Tears Could Bring You Back
by Sneezii-chan
Summary: Syaoran has just left for Hong Kong and Sakura contemplates about why she'll wait for him to come back. Set before the 2nd Movie. SS OneshotSongfic This is my first fic so please RR!


**Disclaimer: I don't own CCS or the song. If I did I wouldn't be writing a fic. **_: sighs unhappily :_

**This is my first fic so please be nice! I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes but I just wrote this after saw an Inuyasha AMV with this song. Anyway it's set after Syaoran left for Hong Kong but before the Void Card, before Sakura ever admitted her love to Syaoran. This song is called **_If Only Tears Could Bring You Back_**. I have no idea who the singer is, though. Please read and review! **

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**Sakura's POV**

I watched him leave. I saw him board that aeroplane. I watched from afar. My face pressed against the large window of the airport, tears rolling down my cheeks, my arms wrapped firmly around the bear him gave me, hugging it tightly against my chest, as the plane took off. I stood there staring at the sky, more specifically at the plane that was taking him away from me.

Taking him, my beloved, my little wolf, Syaoran back to Hong Kong, to his home... Away from me... I never got the chance to tell him how I felt...

* * *

_How will I start tomorrow without you here?  
Brute luck will guide me though the answer's disappeared  
Is it too late? Are you too far gone to stay?  
Best friends forever, should never have to go away_

I slowly drifted in to my memories remembering some of the times that I valued with Syaoran. The times that he showed that he cared...

I had just Captured the Light and Dark Cards. They had been telling me about Yue and my 'invincible spell'.

Before I could process any of this, all the colour and noise of the real world returned in a flash. I was standing next to Syaoran on top of the bed, and an auditorium full of parents were staring at me. They were back. I was back. Everyone was back! The darkness was gone!

"I'm so glad!" I shouted. "It's back to normal!"

I was so relieved that I attacked Syaoran with a hug, who instantly froze up and went red.

Unable to stand it any longer, the defeated witch jumped to her feet and ran to the bed. "Wait a minute!

"That's enough!" Meilin jumped on the bed and pulled me away by the cape that Tomoyo had designed. "You get away from him!"

_What will I do? You know I'm only half without you  
How will I make it through?_

_No!_ I was trying so hard but Light and Dark wouldn't transform! Transforming the other six Cards, and her trip to the past with the Return Card was just too much. I couldn't do it. Even with the added strength of Kero-chan and Yue.

The staff suddenly felt heavy in my hands and I almost dropped it, and just in time a hand covered mine. A familiar hand, attached to an arm clothed in green Chinese robes.

"Syaoran-kun?"

Somehow he was managing to stay upright, his other hand braced on my shoulder for support and gritting his teeth.

"I am a blood descendent of Clow Reed," he panted. "I might be able to help out a little bit."

His fatigue was obvious even to me. "But if you do that, Syaoran-kun, you'll fall asleep too! And if I can't change the Card, you'll stay asleep forever!"

"It's all right," he contradicted, and flashed me a brief rare smile. Our faces were so close like this, I swear I'd never been able to see his eyes so well. "I'm sure that you will be able to break his spell."

He trusted me. The boy that had once called me hopeless, pathetic, and countless other things I didn't care to remember believed in me and thought _I_ could do this.

Somehow that made me more confident than any encouragement from Tomoyo-chan or Kero-chan could've and I nodded, readjusting my grip under Syaoran's hand.

"Let's go."

"Yeah."

This time I could feel the strength of Syaoran's magic moving alongside mine, just as young but with a different flavour to it, a magic borne of ancient power and discipline. Hard wind whipped around us at our combined strength but I held on and so did he.

Now the Cards were changing faster, the power travelling up through them more rapidly. Like the momentum of a crashing wave, I knew it would overcome them. And it did, the Cards changed and spun in their new colour, finally mine and not Clow's.

"Light!"

I hardly had to give the command, it seemed Light had been waiting this whole time. Like a comet in reverse she streaked into the inky blackness overhead and assumed her material form.

She was too bright for human eyes, and then her brightness melted the black around her. Gently but inexorably her magic coated the sky and pushed back the dark, shining radiantly over Tomoeda. And the victorious pair of me and Syaoran still didn't move, still embraced and clutching my staff, faces turned up to the magical light that was our triumph.

The brilliance faded back to the ordinary sunset sky, still a mellow red and gold on the western horizon. Syaoran's knees gave out on him and he fell to the sidewalk, exhausted but glad.

"Syaoran-kun! Are you okay?"

"Aa." He grinned up at my concerned face. "You did it."

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give if you  
Return to me, someday, somehow, some way  
If my tears could bring you back to me_

Tomoyo-chan had just disappeared, like everyone else, and I was trapped in a cave that was probably haunted.

Through glazed eyes, I watched the flame begin to take hold of the dry and old wood. One plank began to burn, and then another, and then another, until the entire bridge was engulfed in flame.

"What's wrong?" Syaoran panted, emerging from the darkness.

"Li-kun! Tomoyo-chan, everyone…"

"Did they disappear?"

I nodded.

"I was with Yamazaki-kun, and he disappeared as well."

"Is it a ghost? Is a ghost making Tomoyo-chan and everyone disappear?" I asked, panic seeping into my voice.

He frowned thoughtfully. "That's not it. Calm down, and feel the nearby presence properly."

I was in no mood to calm down, but there was something in his eyes that forbade refusal. I did as I was directed, closing my eyes and bowing my head, reaching within myself until—

"It's the presence of a Clow Card."

The declaration was accompanied by a horrible crack, and with a crash the bridge collapsed into the waters. A cloud of steam went up as the charred planks sank beneath the surface.

While I held the candle, Syaoran activated his compass. A blue line of energy shot over the water, disappearing into the gloom on the other side.

"It's over there?"

"Hai. The problem is how we're going to approach it."

"We can't use Fly?"

"It's better if we approach as quietly as possible so the Card doesn't notice us."

Hmm... I thought for a moment, then had an idea.

"I'll try it." Quickly I activated the sealing staff, then pulled a recently-acquired card from my deck. "Surround us, and take us to the location yonder! Float Card!"

A buoyancy enveloped them and they drifted into the air. Light as a couple of feathers, we floated over the wreckage of the bridge.

"If we don't know what Card we're facing, the first thing we should do is find the main body of the Card. We can't determine the exact location with my compass."

Without any kind of fuss or resistance, we landed on the opposite shore.

"That went well…"

"Li-kun!" I yelped, staring at him with wide eyes. Syaoran was puzzled for a moment, then saw his hand. It was beginning to fade; he could see right through it to the rocky floor.

Uh-oh.

"You're going to disappear too, Li-kun?"

Panic brushed the edge of my mind again. He was the voice of rational thinking in this whole nightmare; I couldn't do it without him.

"Calm down!" he snapped, still fading but slowly. "If it's an active Card, you should be able to figure out where it is. Concentrate! Do you want everyone to stay gone?"

Rapidly I shook my head.

"I don't!" I could not fail my friends that way. Focusing intently, my stare settled on the quiet wooden shrine against the wall. "Over there!"

I sprinted for it and pulled open the small doors, heedless of what might be inside. A pale green mist billowed out into the cave, and I took a step back.

"Now!" Syaoran shouted, and I raised my staff with determination.

"Return to the guise you were meant to be in! Clow Card!"

Taken by surprise, the magic was sucked toward the beak of my staff, materializing into a glittering Card. It floated toward my hand, and I sagged with relief. Syaoran had returned to his solid state again, and I held it up for him to read.

"The Erase Card. That's why everyone disappeared."

I nodded, then looked at the Card, then looked back into his dark brown eyes again.

"This…is yours, Li-kun." Those eyes widened. "If you weren't here, Li-kun, I would just be crying, and wouldn't have been able to do anything." I held it out and he hesitated before turning his back on me and walking away.

"That one is yours," he said succinctly, with a tone that left no room for argument. It was clear he wasn't in the habit of accepting gifts.

_I'd cry you an ocean, if you'd sail on home again  
Wings of emotion, will carry you, I know they can  
Just let love guide you, and your heart will chart the course  
Soon you'll be drifting Into the arms of your true love_

The sun had begun to drop. The western sky mellowed into a rich gold, and long shadows stretched across the park-grounds. It was chilly but not terribly so, and Syaoran waited patiently for me to speak first. The smile was gone again and I had an odd look in my eyes.

I seemed content with silence for once, and Syaoran watched me swing listlessly to and fro, my boots scraping over the dirt.

"Today," I finally said, "I told Yukito-san that I loved him."

Syaoran looked away, at our shadows lengthening before us.

"But, Yukito-san said that he wasn't my number one person."

I was pretty sure that wasn't what he expected to hear, and Syaoran looked up again.

"He asked me whether or not my feelings for him and the way I feel about my dad were similar, and I thought about it." I dropped her eyes. "They are alike. But there was another kind of 'like' for Yukito-san, too. Maybe not much, but different from the way I like my dad."

I pressed my toes into the dirt and pushed, the swing set chains creaking slightly.

"Yukito-san already has someone that he likes, and that is someone that I really like too. I'm sure that person likes Yukito-san the most, too. So I thought that Yukito-san's number one doesn't have to be me, and that if Yukito-san could be together with the one he loves, I would be happy. Tomoyo-chan told me that the best happiness is to see someone you really love stay happy."

I still hadn't looked at him, gazing at my shadow as it moved and swayed with my own motion. "I thought so too, that if Yukito-san is happy then I would be happy too. Demo…"

I realized faintly that I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"…after all, just a little bit, I'm not really sure why it is – I feel like tears are going to fall." They had already begun to fall, dripping down my cheeks and onto my lap, but I was trying to ignore them. "But if I cry or make a sad face, I'm sure Yukito-san would be troubled."

I bent my face forward so my hair concealed my tears, but I couldn't hide my shaking shoulders or the sounds of my sobs. Syaoran stood up from his swing to face me.

"I hate this," I cried, "why do these tears come out? I really understood what Yukito-san wanted to say, I did. I think if Yukito-san's happy, everything's okay—"

"I know."

I broke off at his words, the first he'd said, and looked up to see a folded blue handkerchief being offered. I looked up more and saw his face, wearing a gentle expression that I'd never seen on him before.

"I understand," he added quietly.

I still didn't know why I had turned to Syaoran, instead of Tomoyo or Kero, but it had just felt like the right thing to do. And when I reached to accept his offered handkerchief, and our hands touched, it seemed even more right. Like somehow I'd known he would understand this pain exactly.

"Arigatou," I whispered, and stood. Fresh tears welled up and without thinking I stepped forward and rested her head against his shoulder. "Yukito-san said that someday I will definitely find someone that I love more than anyone else. And that person will love me more than anyone else, too."

Syaoran hadn't breathed once since we made contact, but my tears were dripping onto his shirt and somehow he forced himself to move. Slowly, carefully, he brought his arms up and rested his hands on my shoulders.

"It would be nice," he agreed, "if you found him." He rested his cheek against my hair and inhaled. "It will be all right. I'm sure you'll find him."

"Arigatou."

The shadows grew longer, the sun began to disappear behind the trees, and still neither moved. Still he held me.____

__

Look in my eyes, you'll see  
A million tears have gone by  
And still they're not dry

I was walking home alone.

He was by the creek bridge when I reached it, still in his school clothes and looking as though he'd been waiting for a while.

"Can I talk, for a minute?"

The silence allowed nothing but the whispering creek, for what seemed like years. He was leaning against the rail, staring mindlessly at his reflection, and all the while I fidgeted nervously.

"Ano, I—" I tried, but he cut me off.

"I got a phone call from Mother yesterday."

That wasn't at all what I'd been expecting, and I blinked confused.

"And I told her about how all the Clow Cards have been recreated, and that the strange incidents will no longer be happening."

He still wasn't looking at me, absentmindedly flexing his gloved hands and then clenching them into fists. Again the silence held sway.

"Ano, I—"

"I'm really glad that I was able to meet you," he said abruptly, turning his back to me.

"When I first came to Japan, I could only think of myself. The only thoughts in my head were to collect the Clow Cards and to heighten my own magical powers. You were always doing your best for others, or thinking really hard about things according to other people's feelings. You really had so many things I didn't have."

"That's not true!" I denied heatedly. "Syaoran-kun, from the first time I met you, you were serious and a hard worker. You had so many things I didn't have, and..."

I trailed off, wishing that I wasn't arguing with his backpack, wishing I somehow knew the right way to thank him for all his support and friendship.

"Arigatou. That's all I wanted to say. Ja." And without warning he broke into a run, leaving me nonplussed and alone on the bridge.

"Syaoran-kun, matte! Atashi—"

He was already gone, and I couldn't bring myself to chase after him. To tell him what? How did I feel about Syaoran anyway?

I raced home and slammed the front door shut. My slippered feet pounded up the stairs quickly as I rushed to reach the safety and security of my bedroom before anyone saw me.

I didn't even bother to shed my coat before I threw herself on my bed, burying my face in my pillow.

"Hey Sakura, what's wrong? Do you have a fever?"

"I'm fine." Answering into the pillow like I was, it was not a very convincing lie.

"Sakura, you've been acting strangely since yesterday. What's wrong?"

His eyes — golden flecks — desperate — I — love — you. Those last three words echoed in my mind.

What was wrong was that I liked him too, but I didn't know how. Just a friend? Something more? I wasn't sure.

It felt different, when I was around him now. But the uncomfortable fire inside me was different from how I felt around Yukito-san, different from how I'd ever felt around my former crush. It... burned, it hurt, made my breathe faster and wish for ice in my stomach.

_'What was that feeling? Why do I feel this way?'_ I asked myself.

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give if you  
Return to me, someday, somehow, some way  
If my tears could bring you back to me_

"Um, y-you like Yukito-san?"

There was only silence, but I knew he wasn't denying my statement. A few rustles told me that he was sitting down on his branch.

"From when?" He asked me.

"From when Yukito-san transferred into my brother's school. It was the third trimester of Onii-chan's tenth grade year. They became good friends on the first day, and he came over to our house. I-I guess you could say it was love at first sight. How about you, Li-kun?"

"On the day that I transferred here."

"S-so it was love at first sight as well. You and I are both much younger than Yukito-san, Li-kun."

I stared hard at the ground far below before turning to face him again. I knew at this point both of our faces were flaming pink, but it was too late to go back.

"But we can't help it, because we like him."

Syaoran uttered some noise in his throat, then choked back the words he'd almost said. I'm not sure why, probably due to embarrassment, he jumped down to the ground.

"Hey, wait a minute, Li-kun!"

He was walking stiffly away, and hurriedly I clambered down the trunk to follow. I wasn't quite sure what happened after my feet hit the ground, but I had a vivid impression of strong arms that reached out and grabbed my ankles.

A startled shriek escaped my lips, and Syaoran whirled around. Now the force was all over me, trapping my arms and legs and dragging me inexorably backward.

Kero happily returned to the shrine, juggling three cans in his paws. Another scream for help reached his ears, and he promptly dropped them. "Sakura!"

Li was activating his sword now, running hard for the tree. But it wasn't even a contest. Whatever power that held me in its grip was drawing me into a dark opening in the trunk. He just had time to see me swallowed completely before he got there, and then the opening disappeared. The bark was firm and tangible under his hand.

__

I'll hold you close, and shout the words  
I only whispered before  
For one more chance  
For one last ounce  
There's not a thing, That I would not endure

"Hey, it's moving!"

My happy smile disappeared a second later when the elevator jerked under my feet, and I shrieked. Instinctively Syaoran grabbed at the bar, not sure why, but sensing a terrible danger.

He reached out for me, but it was too late, the floor beneath us was inexplicably tilting. I lost my balance and began to slide backward, away from him, out of his reach.

He relinquished his safety hold and started running, but he just couldn't seem to go fast enough, couldn't catch up with me as I slid down, scrabbling for a handhold but unable to find one.

And although it was dark I could feel that the wall of the elevator was fading away, disappearing, that it wouldn't be there to catch me when I finally got there.

Instead there was nothing a black and empty void, and Syaoran threw himself forward to grasp my hand.

His hand brushed mine, infuriatingly close but he was too slow, it was too late, my hand slipped away from his and I dropped with a scream into the darkness below.

I was falling into a dark void when I heard something I had never thought I'd ever hear. Syaoran, Li Syaoran, was yelling out _my_ name. My _first_ name! I was so stunned and a warm, giddy feeling rushed through my veins. I knew that I wanted to see him and confirm what I heard.

I swiftly summoned Float, barely realising that I had transformed another card. When I reached him I noticed that he was griping the edge of the floor and looking incredibly grief-stricken with his face buried in his hands. Once again, that warm, giddy feeling returned and I felt so touched by his concern.

He looked up, almost fearful, when he sensed my magic. I smiled at him lightly and told him unnecessarily, "I used the Float Card"

He couldn't speak at first, too overcome with a stunned relief. He climbed to his feet and dragged me off the balloon with a fierce hug, surprising me into a speechlessness of my very own.

"I'm so glad," he whispered into my ear.

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give if you  
Return to me, someday, somehow, some way  
If my tears could bring you back to me

* * *

_

I sniffled slightly as my mind ran through those memories, a few lonely tears rolling down my cheeks and smiled softly.

From the first day he arrived, glaring holes into the back of my head, he stuck by me. Even though it wasn't always in a friendly way, in countless different and difficult situations, he was always there. Whether he was rescuing me or ridiculing me or waiting on helplessly hoping I'd be okay or even being 'possessed' at attacking me, he was there and everything turned out okay.

I have faith. I have faith that one day my Syaoran-kun will come back I just know he will. After all that we've been through and after everything that happened, I know that someday, somehow, some way, he'll return to me. But until that day comes I will wait here patiently. I will wait for him to come back and give me the chance to tell him that I love him…

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**And that end my very first fic. I'll admit it was quite long for my first oneshot/songfic but oh well. The song **_'If Only Tears Could Bring You Back'_** is really sweet and I think it really suits the situation between Syaoran and Sakura. So what do you think? I hope you liked it and plz review! It's only one little button away! **

**—Sneezii-chan**


End file.
